Relationship coaching! Ah, this brings back some fond memories.
I started out in my journey as a coach by being a relationship coach. If you are not aware of this, I had a dating company. SaiFai Dating, which helped men and women from around the world to meet, converse and date the partners of their dreams.
I can speak from experience here; it is one of the most empowering feelings in the world when you see your clients make lasting and fulfilling relationships.
The pinnacle of this feeling was when I attended the wedding of one of my students who met his wife through my dating program. That was truly surreal to watch.
Now, how do you go about becoming a relationship coach and what do you need to do in order to become one?
This guide will help you answer all those questions. So, put on your seat belt, and let the ride begin!
What is a relationship coach?
So how do you define a relationship coach?
“Relationships” can come in many forms. It could be intimate, family, and friends, professional. It can come in any form and it can affect us in lots of ways.
Fortunately, this is something that we can all relate to; we have all been in bad relationships at one point in our life.
It could be a relationship with your parents, your friends; God knows we have all been in some sort of a bad intimate relationship with our partners and our ex-partners.
A relationship coach helps guide us through this storm and help us embark on a land where we can find more meaningful and powerful relationships.
What does a relationship coach do?
There are a lot of things that a relationship coach can do. Let’s go through them one-by-one.
• Address a client’s goals and challenges:
As with anything, the starting block of transformation has to be from inside someone’s head. You need to talk to your clients and find out what is their goal regarding their relationships and what are the challenges that they are facing. You will notice that most of these challenges are self-inflicted. As a relationship coach, you can give them a trusty confidant with whom they can communicate and address their fears regarding relationships.
• Navigate through obstacles:
Many people have these assumptions that they have inside their head. When it comes to men who are not getting any dates, they assume that that is because they are updateable and not attractive. This even worse with women who are single and think that they are going to die alone because they have many flaws. Most often than not, they are just a self-inflicted obstacle. As a relationship coach, you can help them identify the fact that they are their biggest enemies, and once they realize that, they can find healthy relationships.
• Set healthy relationship parameters:
Some of your clients might be seeking your help because they are being exploited in a relationship. It is very common to see relationships where someone is being exploited (sexually, monetarily, etc.) in exchange for company and intimacy. The sad part about this is that even though they know that they are being exploited they go ahead with it anyway because they feel that that is the only way they will ever get intimacy. Your job, as a relationship coach, is to make them stop this behavior and realize that they are helping nobody by doing this. Healthy relationship parameters are of paramount importance for self-growth.
• Help them be honest with themselves:
Most of your clients will be suffering from extreme self-delusion. They may be deluded into thinking that they are not worthy of being in healthy relationships. Or they may be deluded into thinking that the negative relationships they are in is actually good for them, or they may be deluded into thinking that they can only attract negative relationships. Your job as a relationship coach is to tear all these down and help them face facts by being honest with themselves.
Why do people hire a relationship coach?
Every single day you live on this planet, working to find your purpose. If you are one of those lucky few who has found it then good for you, but for the rest, most of life is finding a purpose whilst grinding away in the jobs that they don’t want, or living in houses they hate.
For most people life can be pretty tiring and the only thing that they have which gives them some sort of respite from a punishing daily schedule is their relationships.
It’s either that embrace from a lover, or that kiss from your mother, or that time you spent chatting with your friends, it is these little things in relationships that give our life vigor and drive. Some people don’t even have that; they don’t have this special connection with another human being. Imagine how claustrophobic and alone their lives are.
Imagine coming home work to a loveless house, or having a Christmas dinner all by yourself, lonesome because the rest of your family hates you. Imagine sitting alone on a Saturday night because you haven’t been able to make any friends and your best friend happens to be Netflix.
Imagine that isolation.
That is the reason why people are finally reaching out to relationship coaches. People have realized how important it is for them to have fulfilling relationships. People realize that it is ok now to ask for help to build better relationships.
Good relationships are something we all strive for. They can provide love, support, happiness, friendship, advice, and guidance. However, if they break down they can cause problems and upset – it is during these times that relationship advice is sought.
There might be many reasons why people seek out relationship advice. It can be any type of relationship that is in trouble. Be it, family relationships, marriage, romantic relationships, friendships, relationships in your workplace, etc.
If I were to just summaries it in one line, people hire relationship coaches because they want to be happy.
What’s the difference between couple’s counseling and relationship coaching?
Couple’s counseling is a specialized form of relationship coaching. It focuses primarily on couples, who more often than not, are married. The idea is to work on everything that has gone wrong with them in the past and to help them build a better tomorrow, either together or on their own.
Relationship coaching focuses, not just on, couples who are going through marriage problems, but it focuses on ALL the types of relationships that one may form in their lives. Any and all forms of relationships.
This is the biggest point of distinction between the two.
What are the essential skills required of a relationship coach?
Relationships are certainly the most important part of our lives. They bring so much meaning and contentment to us and to those around us. We gain happiness from the positive relationships we have build in our lives and looking back, those are all that would matter.
So in order for us to gain the skills to develop such relationships, we need the right coach with the right skills. So what are the main skills a relationship coach needs to have?
One of the most important skills a relationship coach should have is empathy. They teach you how to be empathetic and this helps you achieve your ideal relationship through care and understanding of other people.
A good relationship coach can teach you this essential life skill using which you can avoid repeated arguments as you will learn to understand how your actions affect your relationship with other people. Relationship coaches also teach you how to interpret another person’s emotions and understand it without getting angry.
• Ability to Create Long Term Solutions
A good coach will ensure that people have a long term strategy to solve their relationship troubles. There is no point in quick fixes as the problem can arise again as quickly as it disappeared. Great planning, strategy, and discipline to follow the same are encouraged by a good relationship coach.
• Self – Awareness and Reflection
A good relationship coach gives people an insight into themselves thereby allowing them to see the cracks in the relationship. This helps people look at their problems more objectively and react better in situations of stress. Relationship coaches enable people to think freely from bias and prejudice thereby nurturing their relationships.
• Create Goals and Recognize Obstacles
An important skill for coaches to have is to see potential areas of improvement in relationships and help people work on them. They do this by helping people set up goals and find the purpose of the relationship. They then create a roadmap for the client to follow by using positive reinforcement to help people in areas of improvement.
A relationship coach helps in solving any setbacks or obstacles the client might face by rewiring their thought processes, thereby giving them a stress – free relationship.
• Art of Forming Connections
A good relationship coach masters the art of forming connections with people and can help with many problems surrounding the relationship. It can be fixing any kind of relationship with your family, your husband/wife, friends and work colleagues, anyone who is important to you.
• Lifestyle Changes
The coach needs to emphasize the importance of strong relationships and a steady lifestyle to sustain them. In the process, they help you change many parameters about yourself including career focus, taking care of your health and leading an overall balanced lifestyle.
All the right skills with the right relationship coach can help you learn how to trust, love, get intimate and develop great life-long connections which you will cherish forever!
How much is a relationship coach salary?
The salary of a relationship coach varies based on many things such as the type of clients the coach has, location, specialty area of interest, number of years of experience, number of clients, demand for the coach and scale of business the coach may be running.
According to the online job website, SimplyHired, the average salary for life and relationship coaches is $68,000. According to Forbes magazine, some of the fastest career paths happen to be those of professional coaches with 20% of the 10,000 registered coaches earning six figure incomes!
Do I need relationship coaching certification?
No, you don’t have to be certified to be a relationship coach!
But being trained in behavioral psychology, coaching techniques, counseling skills and modern research on cognitive behavior can definitely go a long way in getting clients on board. This can help you become an exceptional relationship coach who can help people achieve their goals.
When you are trained to be a relationship coach, you will gain credibility and learn better teaching methods, thereby making you more efficient.
The certification processes are created with the idea of evaluating your coaching skills and creating parameters or benchmarks to help you improve. It also shows your clients that you are committed to becoming a relationship coach and have valuable knowledge that will make an impact in the world!
Wouldn’t it be amazing to help people improve mentally, physically and personally? And imagine doing this while living the life of your dreams in a career that gives you all the happiness in the world!
No matter what profession you are in right now, whether you’re an executive, close to retirement, or even a stay at home parent, by becoming a certified professional relationship coach, you can help the people overcome challenges and achieve lasting results.