The 3 Skills Every Coach Must Have


You Know that Floyd Mayweather Can Teach You How To Be  A Great Coach?

No I am not trolling.

So here is a tip for you the next time you decide to come to Bali:

Rent a scooter because the taxi drivers are gonna rob you blind.

And let me tell you something…ain’t nothing like driving your scooter through the rice fields of Bali:

Oh ya….that’s my monster, baby

A rented automatic scooter.

I iz kewl.

Anyway…so here I am sitting in a café sipping on some tea (yes, yes I do embrace the Englishman in me at times).

And I am wondering, should I write this article or not?

This can get pretty controversial and I have never had the guts to talk about it before.

You see, what I want to talk about today follows the “sausage principle”.

Basically, if you love the sausage, then you wouldn’t want to know how it is made.

And this kinda applies to what I want to talk about today.

Everyone looks at coaches like Tony Robbins or Les Brown and think that that’s how it has always been for them, like they were born with that greatness.

And that is absolutely wrong. There is a lot of work which goes behind creating that persona.

In this one though, I wanna talk about something that may seem a tad bit arrogant … but it is what it is.

Long-time readers would know that I am extremely fond of this book:


So there is this interesting story in that I want to talk to you about…and it beautifully meshes into what I wanna talk about today.

Turn your clocks waayyyyy back to 1793 and France is in a state of turmoil.

French Revolution is at its peak and during 1793-1794, they are experiencing what historians would call a “Reign of Terror”.

During this time, 40,000 people were either executed via guillotine or straight up murdered.

Basically 1793 France is what hell would look like, if your idea of hell is headless corpses and a general feeling of terror.

So anyway…revolution ended in the late 1790s with the monarchy losing all of its powers.

In 1830 Louis Phillipe I got coronated and he was determined to be the “People’s King”.


And he started off pretty well….

He abhorred wearing fancy clothes and all the royal stuff, he would walk around town in his gray hat and umbrella.

He hated spending time with the nobles preferring to socialize with the bankers.

But eventually…. Things didn’t turn out well for the, as he was nicknamed, “bourgeois king”.

The nobles couldn’t stand the sight of their king trying his best to look like a commoner, they quickly turned against him.

The commoners grew tired and irritated of the man, who is supposed to be their king looking, like an utter joke. Simply speaking, they wanted a king who acted like, well…a king!

And the final nail in his coffin was when the bankers that he was socializing with started pushing him around. A king with no crown does not have that aura, and they figured they could get away with anything.

Louis Phillipe was dethroned and exiled shortly afterwards.


Yes he did “try” but when you are a king and you are in charge of so many people, “trying” isn’t enough.

Now let’s look at the polar opposite.

I think regardless of how you feel about this guy….you can’t help but admit that for the past decade, he has been ruling the boxing world.


Yes, that’s indeed Floyd Mayweather clubbing whilst carrying $5,000,000 in cash.

I mean that is one of the most obnoxious things I have ever seen in my life, but I will admit one thing, the man knows how to portray himself.

Because this is one thing that has befuddled me for the past year or two: How the hell do his fights make so much money?

I won’t deny that he is talented. He is probably the best defensive boxer there has ever been, he is a boxing purist’s wet dream.

But just appealing to purists doesn’t sell fights.

I am sure you have all watched that cringe inducing “Fight of the century” between Manny Pacquiao and him.

The fight which can be brilliantly summarized by this GIF:


Yes, yes I am pretty sure you were as disappointed as I was.

But that again gives more fodder to my point….how the hell do his fights sell so much?

I won’t call myself a boxing purist, but I do watch the “sweet science” every now and then.

Back in the early 90’s, I was a huge Tyson fan, and it made sense why Tyson was so popular.

His fights were carnage…. utter carnage.

This is basically how a standard Mike Tyson fight went:

Tyson corners his opponent and then uses his secret technique of being 100 times stronger than a normal human being and pounds the poor sap into submission.

Or in case you want visual cues:


See? Nothing complicated.

Oh and let’s not forget, he also used to own a HUGE pigeon coop and he loved him some pigeons.


D’AAWWW… almost makes you forget that he used to destroy faces for a living.

Anyway… this pigeon-loving killing machine captured the people’s imagination.

And it made sense…because watching Tyson knock someone out is like watching Picasso paint the Guernica.

But why is Floyd Mayweather the biggest selling boxer of all time?

That made no sense to me and as I kept on researching, some of the stuff that I found was absolutely obnoxious.

Eg. Him lighting up his cigar with a $100 note, his $6.4 million watch collection, him never wearing the same shoe or boxers twice, him paying his chef $1000/ meal for his food.

The list just goes on and on and on.

And that’s when it hit me.

He is living his persona.

He is the king of boxing… and he is gonna make sure that you know that.

People don’t tune into his fights to watch him knock someone out. No.

They tune in to his fights to watch his opponent knock him out.

He is the perfect villain, he has the money that most of us can only dream to have, and he is going to spend every minute making sure that you know that.


Robert Greene says something beautiful in the 48 laws that I will paraphrase for you.

When we were young…we all thought that the world is at our feet… we were all going to conquer everything.

And that mentality stayed with us till we took our first steps into adulthood.

But then, things happened. Reality bared its unforgiving fangs and bit us on our bums.

Lots of things happened which clipped our wings.

You broke up with the person that you were sure you were gonna end up spending your life with.

That job that was supposed to be your springboard into greatness just completely sucked the life out of you.

That house that you bought for your family has so many mortgages that paying it off is going to take your whole life.

And with that you set all these limitations in front of you, most of which are self-imposed.


As we are burdened down with our daily mediocrity, that’s when we see a Dan Bilzerian, a Hugh Hefner, a Floyd Mayweather living their lives like kings and living it with no fear whatsoever.

And that is when we see an ideal…a royal ideal which shatters our inhibitions and makes us realize that that kind of a life IS possible.

Why does a king wear a crown (or a wreath) and carry a scepter? Is it just for show?

For most part it is, but it carries a message, it carries a message of superiority and adds to the aura of the person.
So why don’t we use the same formula to achieve our goals?

I am not saying you should walk about with a crown and a scepter, though that will be hilarious :D.

Robert Greene calls it the “Strategy of The Crown”.

Basically, he says that if we believe we are destined for greater things, our belief will radiate outward. This outward radiance will infect people who will think we must have reasons to feel so confident.

People who wear these “crowns” feel no fear or insecurity.

This is something that you can notice in James Bond movies as well.

James Bond is such an unapologetically masculine character that no matter who plays the role…their inner “alphaness” shines out in different ways.

The James Bond persona is their crown which helps them reflect their inner masculinity.

People who wear this crown of self-belief make their limits and boundaries disappear.

Now this is all well and good, but why did I say that this topic is controversial?

Because I realize that you, as a coach, will want to be as closely relatable as possible to your client, right?

You wouldn’t want to be “aloof” for the lack of a better word.

This is another reason why I love studying history; it teaches us so ƒmany lessons. It shows us all the mistakes that our forefathers have made just so we can avoid making the same errors.

Now, what happened to the Bourgeois King Louis Phillipe?

He wanted the public to feel at ease with him… he wanted them to think that he is one of them.

And there lies the problem…he was NOT one of them, and he came off looking insincere.

He was the king for crying out loud, when you are looking for a king you want him to be Gerard Butler from 300 not freaking Jack Black.


Now think about it, in your coaching, suppose you are a dating coach, will your program ever work if you position yourself as being one of the clients who is also looking to get a life partner? No.

If you are a health coach, is it ever gonna work if you yourself are not in shape and end up positioning yourself as being in the same situation like your clients who are struggling to get in shape?

Of course not. You should be an ideal that they aspire to, you should be the end-product of what they want to achieve.

If they all want to be Batman, then you should be the equivalent of Batman punching Joker in the face.

And this is why people like Mayweather and Hefner are so successful. They represent the ideal…the final stage that every person wants to achieve in their lives.

But remember, though…once you have captured their imagination, you can tweak it so that they may like you or hate you.

Mayweather has used this to become a villain… Tony Robbins has used this to become a hero.

Tony Freaking Robbins.


He is a genius when it comes to perfecting personas.

Here is one handsome man in great shape with a loving family, who has seemingly conquered all his fears and is at the peak of his life.

Now who wouldn’t want that?

Now what would have happened if Tony has positioned himself as someone who has phobias to conquer and whose life is a mess?

The man knows that he is an ideal that everyone aspires to, and he knows how to treat himself like royalty just so people are caught in that illusion of perfection.

Remember, it is all about balance.

Balancing everything.

Here is how the persona tree goes.

The only reason why I am spending so much time with this is because this is literally the most important skill that you will need as a coach.

  1. Create a persona that feels closest to you and what you want to achieve with your coaching.
  2. Find a weakness in you that will make the persona feel real. Make that weakness a weapon to seduce your clients.
  3. But never ever make yourself so real that they can touch you. Meaning you should always be that one step further away from your client. Remember, you are the king.
    Does it sound a bit arrogant?

Unfortunately, it does, which is why I have never written about this before.

But here is what I have noticed, when you have that sense of regality about you, your clients will stop pushing you around and will start trusting you more.

The two things that create a great bond between a coach and client are trust and respect.

Without respect you will have nothing.

Respect can only be earned, so earn it by being a role model for your clients.

It is a lot of responsibility but hey, isn’t that why we chose this line of work?

And as Jeremy Clarkson would say ”on that bombshell” I end this article.

There is a lot of stuff for you to chew on so go through it again and think about it.

3 thoughts on “The 3 Skills Every Coach Must Have

  1. Thank you for writing this.. as usual, it is the things that are not said that often turn out to be the most important.

    This is something I have been struggling with lately, how to be authentic and integral and professional. The cost of professionalism is to sacrifice one’s true self – this article and the 3 steps – helps you remain true to yourself, be of service and connect build rapport with your clients..

    stay awesome.

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